Animal & Pet Stories

Jun. 14, 2017

One night my son bought a bag of Doritos® to try. As I was walking past him, I noticed they were a new flavor so I picked up the bag and brought them to my desk to try for myself. They were the new Ranch Dipped Hot Wing flavor. 

About five minutes into eating a few, I noticed my mouth was on fire. It was one of those spicy foods that kind of creeps up on you and then slams your tongue against the back of your throat as if you’d just eaten a jar of jalapeno peppers. Outside of the fire, they were pretty good; I liked them.

When I realized they were what caused my tongue, cheeks and teeth to shoot flames out of my nostrils, I dropped the chip I was holding onto the floor. Almost immediately, Charlie, the beagle, swooped in and claimed his prize.

“Charlie, you’re not going to want to eat that,” I warned.

While chewing his ill-gotten gain, he looked up at me and said, “Yes, I do. I do, I do! Honest, I think it tastes great.”

After hearing mine and the beagle’s conversation, my son asked what we were talking about.

“I dropped a Dorito® on the floor and he’s eating it,” I answered (since Charlie was too busy licking his chops to answer).

My son chuckled and said, “Yeah, I think he likes them. I dropped a few over here and he scarfed them up pretty quick.”

“Well they were hot! I better not be hollering ‘come on ice-cream’ anytime tomorrow,” I warned.

Since my son didn’t comment, I wasn’t so sure if he got the movie reference I made. I was referring to the Cheech and Chong movie where Cheech had eaten a spicy Mexican burrito. I didn’t elaborate, either.

I know Charlie didn’t get the reference. He was sitting next to me asking for more Ranch Dipped Hot Wing flavored Doritos®. Instead of dropping more for him, though, I took the bag back to my son. Charlie kept in step following the bag.

The next afternoon, I heard Charlie outside yelping like something had gotten a hold of him. Within seconds, he came tearing through the house whining and whimpering. I quickly turned in his direction to see what was wrong and I noticed he was running around the living room while tucking his butt in.

“Oh great,” my husband exclaimed as Charlie ran past him. “He’s dropping poop on the floor!”

Charlie wouldn’t hold still. He kept running around the whole living room in circles with the two of us trotting behind as he waddled around scrunching his butt up. My husband was carrying a roll of paper towels and picking up the droppings. I was in charge of the Lysol® spray to squirt in place of the turds after the poopy pick-ups. Eventually, Charlie ran back outside where he stayed for the next hour or so.

Later that night, my son brought in a big bag of the Cool Ranch flavored Doritos® and handed it to me. Those I could eat without worrying about a Cheech and Chong episode (not that I needed them). I opened the bag and pulled a few out. When I saw Charlie in his bed next to me, I remembered he liked the Doritos® so I offered him a chip.

My dog, which eats anything that doesn’t eat him first, looked real hard at it. As he started to turn away from the treat he said, “I dunno about this, Mom. I’m not sure I will like it.”

“What’s wrong, Charlie? Don’t you want it?” I asked.

“I dunno,” he answered and then tentatively, with only one lip, took the chip.

I gave him a second chip to see if he would react the same way as with the chip I just handed him, and he did.

I didn’t understand what was wrong until I told my son how Charlie was acting. At which time, he starts laughing and said, “It’s the hot Doritos® he ate the other day! They burned Charlie’s butt. That’s why he was scrunched up and pooping everywhere. Now he’s unsure whether he should eat these ones or not after what happened to him.”

Lesson learned. 

Mar. 25, 2017

We took our dogs in for the annual vet visit. Since they love going for walks, riding in the car and visiting people they were so excited and smiling the whole time

Charlie weighed 40lbs while Bianca weighed 50. I remember they were so thin when we first got them. He’s gained 12lbs and she has gained 14lbs. So I asked the vet if they were overweight.

“She’s not,” he said and reached down to the side of Bianca. “When you can feel their ribs and their tail bone is the highest point of their body, they’re not overweight so she’s doing well.”

“I know Charlie is overweight. He eats all of her food,” I exclaimed. “When he’s done eating he goes and finishes hers too.”

He nodded and reached down to Charlie. “See? You can’t feel anything on him. Some beagles are squirrely, but him …” he said pointing to my beagle, “He won’t run unless he’s being chased.”

Boy, does he have Charlie pegged! 

Mar. 25, 2017

We have a beagle that is probably the dumbest animal we’ve ever had. He’s supposed to be a hunting dog but hates the outdoors. He’s short and fat and waddles everywhere he goes.

He loves his doggy biscuits, especially the gravy bones. He will arf -arf whenever he wants one. If we do not pass them out to him in a reasonable amount of time, he will arf at us until we do. The other night he hopped on the sofa next to me and kept cutting his eyes at me. He wouldn’t look at me directly because he knows he’s not supposed to be on the furniture. When I continued to ignore him, he started barking to get his treat. I think he’s been a little bit spoiled.

My husband let him on our bed one night. That’s all it took. After that, he thought that was where he was supposed to sleep from then on. He is too short to jump up there so my husband put a chair at the foot of the bed so he could get on the bed with us. If the chair is moved, he tries to jump up but always falls back to the floor with a thud.

We had just gone to bed one night when I heard him jumping onto his chair; fall off with a thud and then silence. He just laid there for several seconds before getting up and getting onto the bed. It was as if he had to lie there and ask himself if what just happened really happened.

It’s the same as when he jumps off the bed and tries to fly: he just goes “splat.” It takes him a second or two before he gets up and moves. He lacks grace and brains but he’s a fun dog to have. He certainly makes us laugh.

Mar. 25, 2017

Our Great Dane, Kong, was not only funny as hell, but he was smart as a whip. He loved his yard, too. We had a fenced in yard around the house so he could run, jump and play with the children.

My brother-in-law was standing on the other side of the fence one day and said to me, “You know, he’s so big, he could just step over this fence if he wanted to.”

Kong was standing there next to us. “Shh,” I said to my brother-in-law, “He doesn’t know that and he might hear you!”

Kong knew he was not allowed to go into my daughter’s bedroom so he would often nudge her door open and just stand there looking in. He also knew, he was not allowed to touch her stuffed animals. However, he outweighed her by about 75 pounds. Whenever she sat on the floor to watch TV, he thought he was supposed to sit in her lap and did. I guess he thought he could boss her around as well because he rarely listened to her.

One afternoon while she was away, he came trotting out of her bedroom carrying one of her stuffed pigs in his mouth. My son spotted him and said, “Oh boy, Kong! When Amber gets home and finds out you stole her pig, you’re going to be in big trouble!”

Amber came in a few hours later and as if he understood what my son had said, Kong went to get the pig, brought it to her and sat down in front of her. Needless to say she was not happy but he didn’t seem to care. After all, he was twice her size.

He did get away with it, too. We loved him so much and he knew it. I still have that pig in my bedroom. I cannot seem to part with it. I know it’s a silly thing to keep, but it brings back so many fond memories of Kong that I just cannot let it go.

Mar. 25, 2017

Recently, my Blue Healer, Bianca, decided she was going to jump the fence. We’ve had such a problem with her doing that. We’ve even considered doing an extension on the fence to keep her inside before she got hit by a car. Needless to say, we are too late.

We’d let the dogs out one evening and about fifteen minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find Bianca tapping on it with her paw. She’s so smart, too smart for her own good, if you ask me! I opened the door to let her in and noticed she was limping.

Upon further inspection, we discovered her belly was raw and her hind leg and paw were bleeding so the next afternoon we took her to the vet. The vet determined Bianca had probably chased a car and lost the battle. The belly was road rash and it appeared she’d injured her leg in the chase. The good news was, the car obviously slowed down when the dog jumped out to attack it, otherwise, she would have suffered much more damage, if not death.

That night, Bianca was standing next to me at my desk. Her foot was on the floor and her ears were perked up as I spoke to her. When I heard my son pulling into the drive, her ears slowly went down and her hurt leg slowly rose up. By the time my son had made it inside, she was gimpy and in so much pain.

Suffice to say Bianca was milking it for all it was worth. She felt better after a couple of doggy cookies later, though. Like I said, “Too smart for her own good.”