My brother, his daughter, a friend of mine, with my husband and I stopped in at a diner for dinner one evening. What followed was a humorously memorable event.
When we came in, we saw we were the only customers in the place. That was kind of odd as it was only 7:00. We were seated and given our menus. The server, Avery, came over and the fun began.
Avery asks, “Do you want anything to drink?”
Her tone, while polite, had an edge of irritation to it. We all just looked at one another and quietly ordered tea and root-beer. As Avery walks off, my niece Bobbie says, “I don’t think Avery is very happy.”
Avery returns with our drinks, sets them down, then pulls out her server pad and asked, “Are you ready to order yet?”
I snickered a little because Avery could have been Flo from the TV show, Alice, saying, “Yeah, whatdaya want?” It was the same tone. “Kiss my grits,” wouldn’t have been a shocker either.
We order and send Avery off. Bobbie says, “I think Avery had a bad day… a real bad day.”
We talk among ourselves and we’re laughing and joking when she brings the food out. She is literally slinging the plates down in front of us. Normally, I would have chewed her out, but we’ve already established she’s not in the best of moods. Plus, she’s young too so it makes it even funnier for me. I can forgive Avery for this food-service-transgression.
Avery comes out again and asks if we need anything else. At this point, we have all decided we’re not asking her for anything more. Very sweetly she says, I brought this carafe of root-beer out for you in case you need refills. As we’re all thanking her, she slams it on the table. I’m laughing so hard that I’m about to pee my pants.
You just have picture it… she’s so sweet and then BAM!
When Avery comes back to see if we need boxes, I ask her, “So, did you have a bad day today?”
“No, not at all,” she says so sweetly then an immediate changes and demands to know why. I tell her why and she still denies she didn’t have a bad day.
As we are leaving, I tell my husband I’m going to leave her a $10 tip and hope that helps to give her a better night. While I’m telling him this, I hear the boss in the back ask her to vacuum the dining room before closing.
It was then that I realized they closed at 8 and we came in at 7:00. Avery was probably irked because she had customers just before closing and was hoping to get away early. We ruined it for her.
I turned to apologize to her for us holding her up when I see her vacuuming the dining room… she’s dragging the vacuum cleaner behind her as she goes around the room. I could not stop laughing at this child. She was a one-woman comedy show.
I call her over and tell her, “I was going to leave you $10 for a tip, but you are hilarious and have kept us in stitches!” I handed her $15 and left. She was happy; at least she was smiling when I walked out the door.
We were in Mount Pleasant one afternoon and decided to stop at Arby’s. It’s a rare opportunity to have one of their Roast Beef and Cheddars so we were going to take advantage of the opportunity. Who would have thought we were going to get dinner and a show.
The place was hopping. It was busier than Grand Central Station. The cashier was handling the pressure like a pro, until she, and everyone else in the place, realized the people in the back were standing around chitchatting, laughing, and having a good ole time. No one was working back there, much less up front helping her.
She turned and called for help, but was ignored. The cashier politely excused herself from the growing line of customers and went into the back and chewed some butts out for not helping and, instead, standing around doing nothing while a rush was going on. Several of us up front snickered.
The manager stormed up front and confronted her. “I’m the manger here, not you! You don’t give orders around here!”
The cashier turned to her and said, “I need help up here so if you’re the manager, get busy helping!”
It was quite humorous as they went at it for a couple of seconds until someone else from the back came up front and pulled the manager away. The cashier continued working while battling her supervisor for customer assistance the whole time. She pulled it off, as I said, like a pro. The manager should have been terminated and the cashier promoted to her position. At least, that’s my opinion of the situation.
One year, I had purchased two Amazon gift cards as gifts. I mailed them off to my recipients. A short time later, one of them sent it back complaining that it was blank so I called Amazon and inquired about the card. I knew I had put money on it and felt sure the receiver of the card was mistaken about it being empty.
Amazon confirmed that the card did, in fact, have money on it, and it was in the $25 amount that I had ordered. However, the dollars had already been spent. I asked if they could see who used the card, thinking she may have used it and then sent it back to me, but Amazon said they couldn’t tell who used it, only that it had been used.
I chalked it up as a learning experience and made a mental note not to send her anymore gift cards. Anything I sent in the future would have to be a tangible gift. I thought that until it happened again.
Sometime later, I made a purchase on Amazon and instead of them charging me the full amount it took off $25. Being curious, I called them again to inquire as to why they gave me that much off on my bill. I certainly did not want an unexpected $25 charge to pop up on me later.
Amazon: Ma’am, didn’t you just make a purchase?
Me: Yes, I did.
Amazon: There was a $25 gift card used on your purchase.
Me: I do not have a $25 card to use. I was paying with a debit card (I had already learned the hard way not to let them bill me).
Amazon: Yes, you do. You bought two of them two months ago (Aha!). One was already used, and then you just used the second one today.
Me: How did I use the second one? I don’t understand. I sent that off to someone else. It wasn’t for me to use.
Amazon: Well, it never got used so when you made today’s purchase it automatically used the card. I don’t understand why that is a problem.
Seriously? I looked at the phone like it was stupid.
Me: Because I bought the cards as gifts, hence the name: GIFT...CARD. Now how messed up is it that I sent it off as a gift and they cannot use it now because some rocket scientist at Amazon used the gift card I bought for them on my own purchases. How do you think that will make me look whenever they go to use the card that I sent as a GIFT? Way to go Amazon!
Amazon: Did you put in the card number whenever you made your purchase today?
Me: I already established earlier that I do not have the physical card. I gave it away as a gift, a present...you know, when you open a package and it’s an Amazon gift card. I guess the surprise is: it’s blank!
Amazon: What about the other one? Did it get used on a purchase you made, as well?
Me: I suspect so seeing how the recipient sent it back and said it was blank.
I explained to her what had happened with that first card after it was sent back to me with complaints of being blank. She put me on hold and came back a few minutes later.
Amazon: I see what happened. Whenever you made purchases it automatically initiated payment first, using the gift card, and then charging the balance to your debit card.
I looked at the phone again like it was stupid. I switched hands thinking maybe if she spoke to the other side of my brain I might understand where her mind is.
Me: We also already established that earlier. What I don’t understand is how a person can buy a gift card and it automatically gets used on them-self. Does Amazon not understand the purpose of a gift card? Is this a lost concept on them? Who buys gift cards for them-self? Do you? If I bought one from Walmart and later made a purchase from them, they would not use the gift card towards my purchase. Walmart understands gift exchanging and presents. I wouldn’t have to explain it to them and, amazingly enough, none of their employees are rocket scientists, either.
Amazon (she’s frustrated now): Ma’am, I can only tell you what happened. What do you want me to do now? How can I solve this problem for you?
Me: Replace them. They are gifts and you took their gifts back. Amazon is acting like Indian Givers!
Amazon: But, you’ve already used them.
Me: That is not my fault. That is Amazon’s fault. They did the deed; now they can undo the deed.
Amazon: Fine! I’ll send them to your email as an E-Card.
Me: What? That’s crazy! Then what do I do?
Amazon: Just forward the email to whoever you want to give it to and have them use the code to activate it. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out!
One January, a friend of mine and I were out and about at a flea market. We met a woman who was telling us that she had been selling her merchandise since only November. I looked at her elaborate display, but said nothing.
She goes on to tell us, “I’m out here selling on the weekends because my 46-year-old husband was my sole source of support and he passed away November 4th of this past year. I had to do something in order to make money.”
My friend, Irene, says, “Oh no! That’s terrible. How did he pass?”
The woman answered, “We don’t know. He went in his sleep. What makes it all the more worse is that the grandchildren were the ones to find him.”
Irene looks at me, but I still say nothing so, she asks, “Was it a heart attack?”
The woman shrugs and says again. “We don’t know. We’re still waiting for the autopsy results.”
After a few more consoling words to the young widow from my friend, we move along. Finally,
when we were far enough away, I asked Irene if she knew what the word crass meant. Irene states that she doesn’t and so I explain that it means rude, or lacks sensitivity.
“Why are you telling me this?” she asks.
As we stop walking and faced each other, I answer, “Because I’m going to be very crass right now...That woman probably killed her husband.”
“Oh my!” Irene exclaimed. “Why would you say such a thing?”
“Well, outside of the obvious, the spouse is usually the first one investigated in an unexplained death. Second...two months for the autopsy results? That’s usually because they suspect foul play. Furthermore, I think he could have been poisoned.”
“How did you come to that conclusion?” she asked.
“Because, they don’t know how he died,” I answer. “There’s no obvious signs of death, like a stab wound, gun shot, hung himself and so on. If it had been cancer or heart attack, they would have been able to see it when they opened him up. The only likely cause I, personally, can think of that wouldn’t leave outside and obvious signs is poisoning.”
Irene thinks a minute and says, “Yeah, and you know, she said she’s only been doing this flea market thing since November, but I do remember seeing her running a booth several times over the spring and summer months, too.”
I nodded my head. “Look at her display She didn’t just suddenly acquire that merchandise. That woman has been doing this for years and she’s cultivated it into a business.”
Irene stopped walking to turn and look at me again. Nodding her head in agreement, she declared, “And that’s why you are the one who writes the books.”
Yup, I can see her mugshot picture already.