Mar. 22, 2017

Diabetic Supply Company

For several months we were stalked by a company: The Diabetic Supply Company. My husband was the first to take their call. They wanted to offer him “free diabetic supplies.” Since we’re both diabetic he went ahead and spoke with them.

Their very first question was, “What is the name of your health insurance provider?” When Reese told them we didn’t have one, they said, “We’re sorry. This limited offer is only for those with health insurance.”

When they called the second time, I answered. The same conversation happened. The next time they called, my husband explained we’d been through this already and directed her to stop calling. Instead of not calling, they’ve called weekly and sometimes bi-weekly, for the last four months. Since they cannot listen, take hints or pay attention, I decided to have a little fun with them. This is the condensed version of a ten-minute phone call:

DS: “”Mrs. Cox, we’d like to offer you free diabetic supplies.”

Me: “Who are you?”

DS: “My name is Dawn and I’m with The Diabetic Supply Company.”

Me: “What’s your last name?”

DS: “Excuse me?”

Me: “You know my last name; I'd like to know yours.”

DS: (laughs a little) “Ma’am, is your correct address (states my address)?”

Me: “Yes, that’s right. What is your address? You know my address, what is your address?”

DS: “Ma’am, I’m calling to offer you free diabetic supplies.”

Me: “Nothing is ever free. Someone has to pay for it. Besides, you’ve not told me your full name or your address so, I don’t think I want to talk to you anymore.”

DS: “You don’t want your free diabetic supplies?”

Me: “You know, I don’t have your phone number either. How did you get my phone number?”

DS: “A concerned loved one asked us to get into contact with you.”

Me: “Really? Who?”

DS: “I’m sorry?”

Me: “Who told you to call me? Surely you have the person’s name in front of you. Who referred me?”

DS: (She’s getting frustrated. I can hear it in her voice) “I don’t know who referred you. I think it was your husband.”

Me: “That’s a lie! My husband is mentally disabled (aren’t they all?). He wouldn’t know how to even suggest it, let alone follow through and there are no children here (my daughter was at her home and my son at work). So, unless you can tell me who referred you and gave my name, address, and phone number, this conversation ends.”

DS: “I’m sorry, Ma’am. It says here it was your doctor.”

Me: “That’s another lie! My doctor won’t even write a report for social security for me but he’s going to take time to look up your contact information, look up my personal information, and then take time out to call you and refer me? Can you not lie better than this?”

DS: “Are you calling me a liar?”

Me: “Yes! You’re a big fat bold-face lying Jezebel!”

DS: (She’s so mad at this point she‘s biting my head off) “Mrs. Cox, do you want your free supplies or not!?”

Me: “Maybe I would if you tell me your name, address, and phone number.”

DS: (She’s yelling now) “You should not be name-calling! If you don’t want your supplies then I’ll hang up!”

Me: “Listen, Jez! You called ME! I don’t have your name, address, or number, remember?”

She hung up on me. So far, it’s been two weeks and they’ve not called back yet. I’ll do the same thing again when and if they ever do call me back.