MIcrosoft Windows Scams

Occasionally, I get phone calls from people claiming to be with Microsoft Windows. When time permits and I’m in the mood, I will sometimes mess with these people. Just recently, I received one of those calls and he identified himself as "Melvin."

Me: That is not your real name. What is it really?

Him: Yes, it is my real name."

Me: No, it isn't. Where did you get that name from?

Him: My Mom.

Me: (laughing) No, your mom did not give you that name. You sound Hindu and no Hindu is naming their kid 'Melvin'.

Him: Yes, she did name me Melvin.

Me: Where are you from?

Him: Wash-ing-ton State (he enounciates each syllable).

Me: (laughing) You are not from Washington State unless its in India. Tell me your name for real.

Him: I am telling you for real. Do you have "fez-book?"

Me: "Fez-book?" WTH is fez-book?

Him: Fez-book ... You know, on the internet.

Me: Oh, Facebook! Yes, I have Facebook.

Him: Give me your name and I will send you all of my documentations to show you where I am from.

Me: You don't even know my name and you're calling me about my computer. Now, that is 3 lies you've just told me. You lied about your name, where you're from and about being with Microsoft Windows. We cannot have a conversation when it starts off with all lies. You have to tell the truth.

Him: No.

Me: (laughing again) Yes, you do. If you cannot tell the truth, I won't believe anything you say.

Him: I know your name is Mrs. Cox.

Me: Mrs. Cox? Are you sure?

Him: Yes.

Me: Is Mrs. my first name?

Him: No, I don't think so.

Me: Then what is it? Tell me my first name, Melvin.

Him: Is it Racey Cox?

Me; (I'm hysterical at this point) Yeah, that's it. You can call me that if you want. Now, what do you want?"

Him: (stalls - he can't think right now) ...

Me: Okay, I have to go back to work but thank you for the laughs. Have a good day.