Nov. 27, 2017

Never Say Never

A Common Routine 

We had a married couple that lived in the nursing home. They shared a room together, had been married for many, many years and even had several children and grandchildren who visited them frequently. From the viewpoint of an old geriatric nurse, that is one of the best things to see, lots of family visiting the residents.

The couple’s name was Graham. I cannot remember the father’s name, but the mother was Ruth. If memory serves, there wasn’t anything really wrong with the husband; he was just there because Ruth was ailing in health. She required around the clock nursing care.

Ruth had a pattern. All of the kids and grandkids would come by daily to visit or maybe take Mom and Dad off for a little while. About once a month, they would slack off and start missing a day here and there. It was during this time that Ruth would become ‘sicker’ than usual. She would call them on the phone, gasping for air more than she needed to be and convince them she was going to be dying in the next day or two.

As a result, the family would all rush back in to visit. Many would come to the desk and ask if we would go down to their room and check Ruth’s vital signs, check her oxygen levels, her machine and do all the ins and outs we needed to do in order to provide both patient, and family, comfort in that everything was as it should be.

It was a cycle: Family in – Family out – Ruth gets sick – Family in, again. And so the routine went for a couple of years. We all knew it, even the family did.

The family was so familiar with this routine that one afternoon, one of the daughters stopped at the desk as I was getting ready to leave the floor to clock out. It was 5-til-3 and I was dead tired, no pun intended.

“Do you think Mama is going to die?” she asked. I was so tired. I just kind of looked at her like really? She chuckled a little and then elaborated, “I know she isn’t going to this minute and I know she does this all the time, too, with calling the family in. She’s been doing it for years, even before we brought them to the nursing home. I’m just concerned because, well, she’s not getting any younger and she does look a little piqued.”

“She’s going to be just fine,” I assured her. “She is not any worse than yesterday.”

I got to the clock right at 3:00 and as I was punching out, I heard the PA system announce they needed the nurse to come to Ruth’s room. I didn’t give it a second thought until I came in the next day. As I was walking in the door, the PA system called my name and asked me to report to the nursing office.

I stepped inside and the Director of Nurses handed me some paperwork (unrelated to Ruth Graham – it was something I needed filled out).

As I was attending to the documents, she said to me, “Did you know Ruth Graham died?”


“Yeah, she died right at 3:00 on the nose yesterday. You were probably clocking out when she died,” my boss replied.

“How? What happened?” I asked still recovering from the shock.

With a shrug she answered, “I don’t know. They said she was sitting on the edge of the bed talking to her daughter and right in mid-sentence she just keeled over dead as a door nail.”