Jibs & Jabs of a Cranky Old Hag

Jul. 16, 2018

The Internet

In the days of technologies, I sit back and ponder what we’ve learned.

– We’ve learned to snack. Every time we sit down at the computer anymore, it seems we need something to nibble on.

– We learned to be adventurous. We post pictures on social media of meals we eat once in a while to give the illusion that we eat like this all the time.

– We’ve learned how to scam people out of their money. We know that someone is eventually going to click on these pop-up ads, spam, or false stories (IE: my brother Keith).

– We’ve learned how to air our dirty laundry. Before social media, no one had any clue as to what was going on in a person’s life unless they bumped into each other, made a phone call, or ran into someone’s mother. Now, we know every time a couple gets divorced, why they’re getting divorced, and why the children should not be with the other evil parent.

– We’ve learned not all celebrities are dead – Prince, Robin Williams and Elvis live!

– We’ve learned we’re not getting Alzheimer’s because of all the passwords we have to remember. The new rule of thumbs: If you can remember your login IDs and PWs you don’t have Alzheimer’s Disease.

– We’ve learned that everyone else is aging, but not us. Reviewing my high school yearbook I see that many of my old pals have gotten so gray and wrinkled except for me; I’m still the stunning homecoming queen I always was (cough).

– We have learned to be insecure with ourselves. The internet has created a community of liars. People lie about their height, weight, wealth, and/or worth. Some have even lied about their gender. As for me, I’ve always maintained that I was a four-foot-two troll with one tooth, but it was a gold tooth.

You have to love the internet, though. It’s brought us so much, changed so much, and created so much in our lives, both good and bad.

Nov. 25, 2017

I was texting with Scott Harper during Black friday and I couldn't help but laugh. 
Me: A woman collapsed outside of Coastal Grand Mall while Black Friday shopping.
Scott: Was it you? 
If he only knew...LOL

Nov. 12, 2017
GENERATION GAP: We were listening to the radio and every song that came on, our son would say "That's from the movie...(insert movie title)."
My husband and I would name the band or singer.
That's what this generation has come to. They know music by the movie, while we know music by the artist. Sad; very sad.
Apr. 11, 2017
Lee: Hello Mrs. Cox, we're calling to remind you of Mr. Cox's appointment tomorrow.
Me: Thank you and while I have you on the phone I have a question if you can direct me to the right people.
(I've asked my question and she tells me who I need to speak with. She's going to check and make sure they are still there as they were sick earlier and talking about going home).
Lee: She did go home, but if you'll give me your name and number I'll leave her a note on your desk.
:::Blink, Blink:::
Me: You called ME and you don't have my name and number?
No automatic alt text available.
Mar. 23, 2017

My son and I had stopped by Hwy 55 diner. While I was waiting for him to pay for his order, a couple of young girls sat at the table behind me. I overheard the one behind me talking to her friend about the staff. She said, “It wouldn’t hurt for someone in this place to smile. No one is smiling in here.”

I turned to her and repeated an old cliché, “Well, if you see someone without a smile, give them yours.”

“I did and they did not respond back,” she replied.

So just before we were leaving I turned back to her and asked, “Would you like for me to make everyone in here smile?”

With a huge smile of her own she said, “Can you? Everyone?”

“Sure!” I said standing up. I raised my hand and waved as I said, “Goodbye Hwy 55. Everyone have a wonderful day!”

The entire staffed stopped, turned to me and waved back and all with big smiles said, “You, too!”

I turned back to the girl and asked, “How did I do?”

“You did great,” she said, “And, thank you!”