Mar. 23, 2017

Cracker Barrel Candles

While leaving the Cracker Barrel one afternoon, a couple of the store’s cashiers began showing me some of their new Yankee Candle car fresheners. I smelled each one that was handed to me, most of which, I did not like the scent of. I realized that the “manly” woman was handing me a lot of flower scented fresheners so I said to her jokingly, “Excuse me, do I strike you as a flowery type person?”

A little too defensively, she said, “Oh, I don’t judge. I try not to ever judge anyone.”

My son explained to her, “It’s not about judging anyone. It’s about observation. If you’ll notice, my mom only likes the ones that smell like fruit or something you can eat.”

I dropped all of the car fresheners back into the bucket and turn to look at my son. “You asshole,” I scolded. “What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me that if it doesn’t smell like biscuits and gravy Mom doesn’t want it?”

“Well think about it, Mom. Everyone will have hand-sanitizers that smell like roses or lilacs and here you come with I Got Cake!”