Mar. 23, 2017

The Facebook Quiz

The FB Quiz: How my friends react to me being in jail

Jessica to the officer (brings me food): “Oh really? She bit your ankles, huh? Ha-ha. Just be glad she stopped at your knees because I’m pretty sure she was aiming a bit higher. Here, can you give her this plate of food for me?”

Roseanne (bails me out): “O-M-G – I gotta come down here to this nasty place and bail your frigging ass out! What in the hell did you do, Michelle; rob a bank? You better hope for your sake you did rob a bank, too, because you’re going to pay me back every last dime. You’re lucky I’m not charging you interest ….” Yada-yada-yada.

Brenda (Sitting in jail with me): “Well this is just great. Now what in the F*#$ do we do? How in the hell are we going to get out of here, now! If you hadn’t bitten that officer’s ankle, I wouldn’t have had to jump on his back when he tried to hit your big ass with the Billy club. Do you know he Tasered me!

And, I don’t know what that busty girl brought you to eat, but I get half! Do you think we could send her out for a box of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts?”

Amber (Trying to help me escape): It’s okay, Mom. I’m here. I’m going to sweet talk the officer into letting me borrow the key and then I’ll slip it to you so you can unlock the door. I’ll meet you out by the car.”

Brenda: “Hold on a minute there, girl! You ain’t going nowhere without me! I’m coming with you two. Now, go flash those baby blues at that officer and while you’re swiping keys, swipe the Taser gun, too. I owe him one.”

Yup, these would be my four comrades trying to get me out of jail or sitting in there with me.