Getting to Heaven
A man dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter says, “Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in.”
“Okay,” the man says. He thinks for a moment. “I was married to the same woman for fifty years and never cheated on her, not even in my heart.”
“That’s wonderful,” says St. Peter, “that’s worth three points!”
“Three points?” the man says.
“Well, I attended church all my life and I supported its ministry with my service and my tithe.”
“Terrific!” says St. Peter. “That’s certainly worth a point.”
The man begins to panic, slightly. “I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans.”
“Fantastic, that’s good for two more points.”
"TWO POINTS!!" the man cries, "At this rate the only way I get into heaven is by the grace of God!"
"Come on in!"