Since I find myself with a lot of time to kill, I read a lot of responses I usually scroll past. Someone made a meme to the effect of
"If distilleries can adapt themselves to make hand sanitizer, why can't the newspapers adapt themselves to start making toilet paper...since they are full of crap anyway."
I duly noted the humor of the post. "Don" commented that back in the day it was common to use newspaper as toilet paper. I had to comment:
The newspapers buy their paper from the paper mills. Different
mills make different papers. Newsprint is different from fine papers (letter heads and the like) which is different from toilet paper which is different from wove (envelope) paper. The processes are different so it couldn't be done without retooling the mill.
Listen to Don, newspaper will "work" but don't flush it! Besides, web offset ink is low tack and it never really dries. Your butt will go from brown to black. LOL.
I'm a retired printer after 50 years. This is the first time I've been able to apply my trade outside of the trade! :-D