May. 23, 2017

Do You Think I'm Sexy?

Do You Think I’m Sexy?


I am a people watcher. I enjoy watching and learning the social behaviors of others. Over the years, I’ve observed and learned much about our body language, false bravados and how society behaves romantically. The one thing I’ve noticed far more with women than with men is, when it comes to sex appeal, the more women want sex, the more insecure she feels about herself, as if the desire makes her vulnerable. However, the opposite is true with men. The more men want sex, the sexier and more irresistible they think they are to all women, with emphasis on all.

This couldn’t be truer than in the jail and prison systems. When I worked the medical department, I had inmates come to my office and flirt with me, some more outrageously than others.

I’ve overheard them telling their comrades (pertaining to me), “She wants me … watch.” 

I asked one inmate, “Why would I give up a marriage to the man I love for someone who is locked up?”

One particular inmate, Yassir, had to receive daily medical treatments. We usually chatted about different things during his visits. I can’t recall how the subject came up, but one evening we were discussing how the men on his cell block thought they were sexy and every woman wanted them.

“Man, they’re just horny,” Yassir confided. “I hear a lot of that talk in there.”

“Well, I’m not about to give up my husband for someone who can’t even brush their damn teeth. Their breath is so bad most times, it about knocks me out whenever they talk to me,” I said laughing.

Yassir, being one of the cleaner inmates in the facility, agreed. “I’ve told them myself they need to shut the hell up and go brush that damn tooth they have hanging out of their mouths. Some won’t even take a shower. They say it’s because they don’t have any money for soap, but I don’t care. At least go rinse your nasty ass off with some hot water!”

I agreed, too. “You cannot be sexy when you’re unbathed and have terrible halitosis.”

“You can tell who has been to prison and who is just a jailhouse bitch,” he said explaining the difference. “If you’ve been to prison, you’re well groomed. The jailhouse bitches haven’t done hard time so they don’t know they better wash and stay clean.”

“Why is that?” I asked.

“Because they’ll cut your ass in prison,” Yassir exclaimed incredulously, as if that is something I should have known. “No one wants their cell block smelling like someone’s dirty sweat socks. You better stay clean if you know what’s good for you. But people who never did a day of hard time won’t know that.”

As I said, Yassir was pretty clean so it definitely raised a question. “So … you’ve been to prison before then?”

“I have,” Yassir added with a nod.

“What for?”

“Basically the same thing I’m going for now: RICO charges,” he admitted. “Except this time, I’m not getting a slap on the wrist. I’m looking at twenty years. I’m still here in county waiting for the powers-that-be to hash out what they need to hash out and give me my sentence.”

On another visit to medical, Yassir asked me the strangest question. He asked if I ever had sexual dreams about him. I remember I stopped what I was doing and turned to look at him to see if he were serious. Even the officer stood staring at Yassir as if he’d lost his mind.

Finally deciding the inmate was serious, she (the officer) turned to me and said, “Well, you know sometimes nurses and officers develop a thing for some of these inmates, so I guess it’s a legitimate question and Yas does have to come down here nightly for treatments. You never know.”

“Yassir, why would you ask me something like that, though?” I asked, as the people watcher and behavioral inquisitor came out in me. “Have I done or said anything to make you think I had a romantic interest in you?”

“No, but that’s not why I asked,” he answered. “Yesterday, the corporal on nights told me she has sexual dreams all the time of the two of us getting it on. She wakes up wishing I was there.” I guess my look of horror matched the officer’s because Yassir added while laughing, “That’s what she said. It’s not my fantasy! I swear.” 

Needless to say, that corporal wasn’t working there much longer after that admission came out.