Daves Comments and quips

Aug. 9, 2018

I was shopping for houses in North Carolina with my friend, Kevin Breen, last year. We pulled into a popular southern fast food chain and went inside.

When my turn came the lady said “Ihh it fah heyah aww ta stay honey?” (All in one word).

I was helpless and started to sweat. I turned around and looked at Kevin who was too hysterical to help.

This was my answer to her, “You want me to drive around where?”

At that point she slowly said (because I was obviously the R word), “You have no idea what I’m saying, do you?”

--Say Hey Dave

Jul. 25, 2018

was the President of the Bergen County Health Officer's Society and had rented the Spirit of NJ for our 50th anniversary lunch cruise. Of course I was running late and got lost near the dock so I pulled into a gas station where two police officers were standing.

I jumped out of the car and was frantically waving my arm about. Ihad started asking directions when one of the cops said, "Is that your car?"

My car was actually a retired police cruiser which the Health Department got second hand. With the driver's side door still open, the car had exited the parking lot and was headed down the road against traffic. I ran after the car, caught up to it, and dove in head first.

The only problem was my patent leather dress shoes were being dragged along the asphalt. With my legs dragging along the street I steered the car to the side of the road, jumped a sidewalk, and crashed into an old wooden stockade fence. When the officers strolled over, they were actually hysterical and felt bad for me.

They knocked on the homeowners door and some lady told them to let me go, she would fix the fence. I made it to the cruise on time, unlike one poor Health Officer standing alone on the dock, and conducted our 50th Anniversary Celebration. The shoes went into the garbage that night.

Jun. 27, 2018

I am out for my morning walk in my pajamas. Now I understand why old men wear plaid shorts, flooded pants, and shorts with high socks. Doesn’t matter anymore lol.

-The End

Jun. 21, 2018

The Hungry Peddler

Last night, my friends, Jason Frankel of Excel Entertainment and singer Livia Tedesco, were chatting with me about my lady friends in the arts. I mentioned "Dave Volpe Night" at the Peddler, organized by singer Jackie Jacqueline Montero Cornella and I suspect Gloria Bonelli had a hand in it.

Jason and Liv, I apologize for not telling my Englewood Cliffs singing friends about it. You see, I never expected anyone to show up and frankly, I am just a karaoke singer. So, when people like the great Michelle DellaFave from the Dean Martin Show came I was astounded.

Oh, sorry Felicia Romeo Williams for not introducing you. I know Dean and Michelle were special to you. Bob Donlan, retired from the music industry was there. Larry Gruber, sound mixer for so many bands and realtor extraordinaire, and others too numerous to mention. Over the last ten years, my friends in the arts kept introducing me to other dancers, singers, and models like Cynthia Mendez-Correa who I posted the other day.

As well, there are painters, actresses, television personalities, unique people like Dot Stein who literally had her hands on nearly every world famous rock musician, etc. It's like one gigantic artsy family out there!

You people enhanced my life and gave me my 8 minutes of fame (TWO songs at The Peddler LOL). Love you.

The End

Apr. 8, 2018

For several weeks now Boston Medical Group has been advertising a new ED pill for men on 1010 WINS Radio. If you call a 1-800 number for a consultation they will give you a free sample and then, get this, "most men achieve results RIGHT THERE IN THE OFFICE!"

That raises (sorry) several questions and concerns in my mind. What do they mean by "results" and how are the "results" measured? Is it safe to drive home?

I am sure some of you have your own questions as well.