Quotes Quips & Jokes

Jun. 1, 2021

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try. - Beverly Sills

You were born an original. Don’t die a copy. J Mason

“If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word.” — Margaret Atwood

Never assume the obvious is true. - William Safire

Don't only practice your art, but force your way into its secrets - Ludwig Beethoven

On the other side of fear lies freedom! - JB Glossinger

When you blame others you give up your power to change. Take responsibility for your future! - Chris Voss

You don’t have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. C. S. Lewis

Yelling “Get in the hole” in golf is similar to telling a woman to “calm down”. Doesn’t happen. - Robert O'Neil

Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.- Wayne Dyer

People, even more than things, have 2 B restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, & redeemed; never throw out anyone ~ Audrey Hepburn

The well bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves. - Oscar Wilde

When the character of someone is not clear to you, look at their friends. - Unknown

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet ~ James Openheim

You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from. - Cormac McCarthy

No matter what people tell you, Words and ideas can change the world. - Robin Williams

Our world is not divided by color, race, religion or gender. Our world is divided by wise people and fools. And fools divide themselves by color, race, religion and gender. - Nelson Mandela 

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song. - Maya Angelou

The starting point of all achievement is desire. - Napoleon Hill

The future depends on what we do in the present ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach. - Tony Robbins

It is never too late to start creating a better you. - Ranal Currie

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” - Jeremiah 29:11

May. 1, 2021

He who laughs last, thinks the slowest. - Larry the Cable Guy

Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first and the lesson afterward. - Oscar Wilde

It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. Be thankful that you have a glass and grateful that there's something in it. - unknown

Change in all things is sweet ~ Aristotle

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. - Andy Warhol

I met a microbiologist, once. He was much bigger than I had expected. - Bob Olsen

Most people will never accomplish the long term great because they settle for the short term good. – Reg Saddler

Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Choose wisely.- Vala Afshar

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them ~ Einstein

The smallest deed is better than the grandest intention. - Roger Baldwin

Mystery creates wonder and wonder is the basis of man's desire to understand. - Neil Armstrong

"We do not need magic to transform our world. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already. We have the power to imagine better." -  J.K. Rowling

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. - Danny Kaye

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another. - Charles Dickens

This whole world is a projection of our consciousness ~ Deepak Chopra

You will see in the world what you carry in your heart. - Craig Crippen

The problem with communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm not going to let school get in the way of my child's education. - Mitch Joel

Nothing is permanent in this world, not even our troubles. - Charlie Chaplin

I'm on the diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That's a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver's license. - Larry the Cable Guy

Sometimes on the way to your dream You get lost and find a better one. - Lisa Hammond

You are the one who teaches other people how to treat you. What do you teach? - Chalene Johnson

We all have our Time Machines: Memories to take us back & Dreams to carry us forwards ~H.G. Wells

It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them. - Agatha Christie

Intelligence is knowing the right answer. Wisdom is knowing when to say it. - Tim Fargo

For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13


Apr. 1, 2021

There are moments when troubles enter our lives And we can do nothing to avoid them. But they are there for a reason. Only when we have overcome them Will we understand why they were there. - Paulo Coelho

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated." - Confucius

Remember—boredom is the enemy, not some abstract "failure" ~ Tim Ferriss

Avoiding certain people to protect your emotional health is not weakness. It is wisdom. Unknown

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say. ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to. - John F. Kennedy

Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery. - Dr. Joyce Brothers

Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time. — Thomas Merton 

"Books are the mirrors of the soul." — Virginia Woolf

Success is the result of good judgement, which is the result of experience, experience is often the result of bad judgement. - Tony Robbins

Always give without remembering & always receive without forgetting ~ Brian Tracy

No one should feel ashamed of learning a thing that he does not know. - Imam Ali

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." — Maya Angelou

I have found that if you love life, life will love you back. - Arthur Rubinstein

Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief. - C.S. Lewis

I do believe something very magical can happen when you read a good book. - J K Rowling

If you light a lamp for somebody, It will also brighten your own path. - The Buddha

All things are difficult before they are easy. - Thomas Fuller

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else. - Charles Dickens

I'm at that age in my life where food has replaced sex. In fact, I just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. - Dr. Wayne Dyer

To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy ~ Hippocrates

How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you. - Steve Maraboli

Investment in knowledge pays the best interest -unknown

As a woman I have no country. As a woman I want no country. As a woman, my country is the whole world. -  Virginia Woolf

Love what you do and...Don’t listen to anyone else who tells you not to do it. - Ray Bradbury

For with God nothing shall be impossible. Luke 1:37

Mar. 1, 2021

People who use time wisely spend it on activities that advance their overall purpose in life - John Maxwell

When you repeat a mistake, it is no longer a mistake: it is a decision. - Paulo Coehlo

Resist much, obey little. - Walt Whitman

Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible. - Tony Robbins

It’s time for you to take your own road instead of following the crowd! - Bruce Van Horn

New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings. - Lao Tzu

I walk slowly, but I never walk backward ~ Abraham Lincoln

Nothing that happens to a writer – however happy, however tragic – is ever wasted ~P.D. James

Some people think they can; some think they can't. They are probably both right ~ Henry Ford

All life deserves respect, dignity and compassion. All life. - A.D.W.

I am not teaching you anything. I just help you to explore yourself ~ Bruce Lee

Few know that the first phone call Alexander Graham Bell received was from an extended warrantee company. - Unknown

"Ooh, it's been St. Patrick's Day for hours and I'm still not drunk yet." ― Homer Simpson

Me no cry because cookie is finished. Me smile because cookie happened. - The Cookie Monster

Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.- Aristotle

"If you would take, you must first give, this is the beginning of intelligence." - Lao Tzu

Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. - Marcel Proust

I must be taken as I have bn made. The success is not mine, the failure is not mine, but the 2 together make me ~Charles Dickens

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great. - John D. Rockefeller

Every person has to love at least one bad partner in their lives to be truly thankful for the right one. – Unknown

I'm so busy I don't know whether I found a rope or lost my horse. - Mark Schaefer

People may not always tell you how they feel about you, but they will always show you. Pay attention. - Kim Garst

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. – Albert Einstein

My dog is usually pleased with what I do, because she is not infected with the concept of what I "should" be doing. - Lonzo Idolswine

Every truth passes through three stages before it is recognized. In the first, it is ridiculed. In the second, it is opposed. In the third, it is regarded as self evident. – Arthur Schopenhauer

You never know how strong you are Until being strong is your only choice. - Bob Marley

For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, "Do not fear. I will help you." Isaiah 41:13

Feb. 1, 2021

Every noble work is at first impossible. – Thomas Carlyle

Actions are the seed of fate deeds grow into destiny ~ Harry S. Truman

Our greatest strength lies in the gentleness and tenderness of our heart. - Rumi

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. - Dave Barry

Embrace the glorious mess that you are. – Elizabeth Gilbert

Love is like the wind You can’t see it But you can feel it. Nicholas Sparks

Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.- Aristotle

A good laugh is sunshine in the house. - William Makepeace Thackeray

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary. - Oscar Wilde

You can stand tall without standing on someone. You can be a victor without having victims. - Harriet Woods

Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. - Pete Seeger

Everything changes when you change. Jim Rohn

You'll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut. - Dr. Seuss

It's always more important to be kind than to be right. - Rich Simmonds

Embarrassment lasts a moment, regrets last a lifetime. - Petteri Tarkkonen

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. - Walt Disney

It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. - Confucius

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. -Mark Twain

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

Trying times are not the times to stop trying. - Ray Owen

When the well is dry, we know the worth of water ~ Benjamin Franklin

The bad news: nothing is permanent. The good news: nothing is permanent. - Lolly Daskal

You don’t need anyone’s approval: Live your life and do what makes you happy. - Paulo Coelho

Whatever you have to say, leave the roots on, let them dangle in the dirt, just to make clear where they come from. - Charles Olson

Great things are done by a series of small things brought together - Vincent Van Gogh

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. - Colossians 4:6